Joy & Mostly Suffering with Wordle

Every morning, I have a specific routine — wake up, brush my teeth, refuse to answer nature’s call until I play WORDLE! Like all addictions, it began as a casual fling. I would complete Wordle whenever I got bored — no strings attached. It was a welcome change from the daily drudgery of work. And I liked the mental acumen required to solve in fewer attempts.

But slowly it started affecting my life. My daily moods changed based on my Wordle performance, affected my conversations with people, and made me question my judgments. It may sound like hyperbole but allow me to explain.

Four-Attempt Path to Attain Nirvana
I have accepted I require, on average, four attempts to solve Wordle. So, every time I finish my fourth attempt, I am at peace with myself. I accept the sun will rise, as usual, flowers will blossom and crickets will chirp at night. Nothing new, nothing special. The status quo is maintained, and I move on to complete my daily routine.

The days I finish Wordle in three attempts, my outlook towards life changes. There is certain radiant beauty on Sun’s rays, flowers are rosier and crickets become percussion artists. And the days when I finished in two attempts? I assume 30 years of social conditioning is the only reason that stops me from kissing strangers on the street.

I dread optimistically the day when I finish Wordle on my first attempt. Let’s just say that I might give Aristotle a run for the money. (Fortunately for society, that day has not come yet.)

On the flip side, if I complete it in five attempts, my mood turns sour. I stomp aggressively, scream at the nearby plant and sulk in misery. But interestingly, if I complete my sixth attempt, the relief of completing Wordle ameliorates any lingering anger issues within me.

And on a few occasions when I am unable to finish Wordle, I visit nearby nursery homes and therapists.

Five Letters or Die
My world revolves around Wordle. My daily conversations, readings, and listening are divided into whether I can identify good five-letter words.

Like yesterday, I was re-watching BBC’s Planet Earth. David Attenborough, with his soothing voice, beseeched us to think more about saving our beloved Earth. Instead of listening to his arguments, I became fixated on the word ‘Earth’.

It realized it was a five-letter word and fell in love with Earth. I found another word to begin my Wordle. It has E, the most commonly just letter followed by A-R-T — all three letters are commonly used in the English language. Great word! But wait. It ends with an H. And I don’t like H since it is not a widely used letter.

I guess Earth began well but ended poorly (no pun intended).

Courtesy: The Guardian; Illustrator: Tom Gauld

SHAPE or WORLD Defines Who You Are
One of the dreaded moments for a Wordler is when there are multiple possible guesses. Imagine the answer is ‘SHAVE’ and I type SHARE on my first attempt. What should one do? I would argue the word you choose next reveals your personality.

For a risk-taking individual:
Best case scenario: Attempt SHARE and complete it in 2 tries.
Worst case scenario: Attempt SHAPE, SHAME, SHADE, SHAKE, SHALE and fail to complete.

Risk-averse Individual (like me)
Best case scenario: Attempt PROVE, SHAVE
Worst case scenario: Attempt WORLD, PROVE, SHAVE

Conclusion
My world revolves around Wordle and I am a willing participant in this circus of words. It is an addiction worse than nicotine or caffeine for me. For fellow Wordlers, I say: Wordle, just like life, provides moments of ecstasy and despair in equal measure, and tomorrow is probably the day when you get on your first attempt.