I don’t like self-help books. I think most of them are overrated - with one concept repeated multiple times. Many should only remain as a blog, let alone a tweet, masquerading as a book.
But when I came across Scott Adams' book, which looked like a self-help, I picked it up. Why?
First, I am a fan of Scott Adams, first through Dilbert comics and later I learned one of the best pieces of advice on developing skills. Second, it is not a self-help book - it's partly a collection of failures. Third, the book is hilarious - filled with incredible stories.
Last, and most importantly, the book is filled with nuggets of valuable information. It is my new favorite self-help book.
In this piece, I try to condense learnings from the book. And I provide my thoughts (using first-person voice) using ideas from the book.
Disclaimer: I might not completely agree with all ideas in their entirety - and many suggestions might not be useful, correct, or applicable.
Chapter 3: Passion is bullshit
When a successful person says, “I am passionate about X,” what they are actually saying is, “I am awesome at X, but I want to retain my humility and not sound like an arrogant ass.”
When a successful person says, “Follow your passion because I followed mine and became successful,” what they are not saying but should be is, “I identified something that I was good at, worked hard, got lucky, had an appetite for risk, and had the desire to succeed.” Among them, luck must have played the biggest role but is least acknowledged.
Success causes passion more than passion causes success.
Sachin Tendulkar got lucky. Despite having incredible talent, if he were born in a non-cricketing country, would he have become a successful cricketer? And would he have said then, cricket is my passion? Unlikely.
Chapter 5: Goals vs Systems (Create systems instead of goals)
The problem with goals is that once you achieve them, you celebrate and feel terrific, but only until you realize you just lost the thing that gave you purpose and direction. It can wear one down as you keep thinking about it - and if you fail, you might start feeling horrible about it.
But a system is more like the process. For example, in the world of dieting, losing 10 kgs is a goal, but eating right is a system. In the world of exercising, running a marathon under 4 hours might be the goal, but exercising daily is a system.
Chapter 9: Deciding versus Wanting (There are no free lunches)
If you want success, figure out a price, then pay it.
In other words, there are no free lunches. If you decide to pursue something, remember there is a cost attached to it. It could be time, opportunity cost, or risks. But try to figure out the price so that you don’t regret it later.
Chapter 11: The Energy Metric (Managing your energy)
There are so many priorities in life. How does one manage them? The key is managing your energy. Here are some useful tips:
- Matching mental state to activity: In the mornings, the brain is more relaxed and creative which makes it easier to do heavy-lifting. In the afternoons, the mind is more stressed, so focus on less creative tasks. There is no set rule. Test it out for yourself.
- Simplifiers vs. optimizers: Some people are simplifiers while others are optimizers. Simplifiers prefer an easy way to accomplish tasks, while knowing the additional effort might have produced a better outcome. Optimizers look for the best solution even if the extra complexity increases the odds of unexpected problems.
- For example, my friend always wants the best deal when spending money, which means he can search for anything between 5-30 minutes to get the best deal. I like simplification. If I don’t find a good deal within 5 minutes, I don’t mind paying extra. I value time over saving (in this instance) more than him.
- While not always ideal, simplification, in the long run, frees up energy to do other things. It frees up personal energy so that you can concentrate on what you need to.
- Sitting position matters: The mind associates sitting posture with an activity. If you use your bed for both work and sleep, you might end up sleeping while working. Feet on the ground can be a cue for concentrated work. A nice chair could be a cue for more relaxed reading. Make your physical environment a sort of user interface for your brain.
- Tidiness: Making things tidy makes one feel enthusiastic and energetic.
- Priorities: First, focus on yourself. If you are not happy and healthy, you are more likely to be a burden to others. Second, focus on economics. If you are not financially secure, you can place a burden on your family (think debts, bad investments). Once you are healthy and financially sound, it's time for family, friends, community, tribe, country, and world. Remember, it is not what you love the most. It is what you should focus on so that the things you love can thrive.
Chapter 12: Managing Your Attitude
Your mind isn't magic. It is a sophisticated computer that you can program. You can rewire your brain to control your attitude by manipulating your thoughts, body, and environment.
- Power of Smiling: Smiling makes you feel better even if your smile is fake. When in a bad mood, the physical act of smiling may trigger the feel-good chemistry in your brain that is associated with happiness. This is two-way causality. Feeling energetic makes you play sports, but playing sports makes you energetic. Putting on exercise clothes makes you want to exercise.
- So, next time, smile at a stranger, and you will be surprised how many people reflexively return the smile. Smiling makes you attractive, which will make people respond to you with more respect and consideration.
- Surround yourself with people who are naturally funny and avoid those who are constantly negative.
- Success Premium: Become good at something, anything, even if it is trivial like the board game Scrabble. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are better than most people. Recently, I ran a 10k in under 62 minutes and believe less than 1% of the world can do it (if I include 8 billion people). There is no magic to it. The key learning is that it takes many hours to get good at it. Now, use these principles to develop other skills. And it can be a confidence booster when you start learning something new.
Chapter 14: My Pinkie Goes Wild (this is a wild story)
This chapter must be read to be believed. To summarize, Scott Adams would draw for hours on end, and this pressure led to his pinkie finger developing a spasm. It was so bad that when Adams touched pen to paper, the spasm would kick in.
When Adams met the doctor, he learned that this condition is called focal dystonia, and there is no cure for it. After feeling distraught, Adams became optimistic and started thinking, "I will be the first person to beat focal dystonia." Perspective!
Next, he self-diagnosed that the problem was more mental than physical since the pinkie finger on his right hand started to spasm even when he started drawing with his left hand.
He began to rewire his brain. He would put the pen to paper and pull out just before the spasm would kick in. He trained for 2 seconds, then 5 seconds. One day, suddenly, the spasm disappeared. He claims (with no evidence) that he is the first person to beat focal dystonia.
So, he was able to rewire his brain through some training and optimism. How one can do that is a much larger question.
Chapter 15: My Speaking Career (Use Smart Friends to Seek Advice)
Scott Adams was asked to give a talk to an organization. He was not interested, but they insisted. Adams called his friend for advice, who worked in this business. His friend suggested charging $5,000. Adams laughed at the suggestion but went ahead. He practiced saying "$5,000" without laughing.
When the organization called, Adams said, "I would like $5,000." He got it, along with a first-class flight ticket and hotel.
Sometimes, you need to seek advice from friends who have knowledge in areas different from your own. And you can always find one of those.
Chapter 18: Recognizing Your Talents and Knowing When to Quit
Learn when to leave: This can be difficult since successful people face obstacles. Persistence is useful, but when should one leave? Things that will eventually work out start out well. Things that will never work out start out poorly and stay that way. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely grow into successes.
Getting a reaction is key. For a TV show, a pilot that elicits 20% of people loving it and 80% hating it is much better than 100% thinking it is just okay. Averages don't mean much for entertainment products. Strong reactions do!
Chapter 20: Managing Your Odds for Success (The Most Important Chapter)
The Success Formula: Every Skill You Acquire Doubles Your Odds of Success
Success is generally the product of picking a good system and following it until luck finds you. A simple formula is:
Good + Good > Excellent
You are better off being good at two complementary skills than being excellent at one (forget outliers). However, some skills are more valuable than others, and the 12th skill will be less valuable than the 11th skill.
For example, Person A is excellent at teaching English. Person B knows good English, is good at public speaking, and is good at making presentations. In such a case, Person B can run an organization. (I understand this is a gross simplification, but I hope you get the idea).
If you think that every skill doubles your odds of success, it can also be a motivator to learn a new, complementary skill.
Take Scott Adams - he combined "meager business skills with bad art skills and fairly ordinary writing talent" to become a famous cartoonist who created Dilbert.
Another benefit of learning as much as you can is that everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.
Chapter 21: The Math of Success (Second-most Important Chapter)
You can't control luck, but you can improve the odds of success. Some important skills to learn (what Scott Adams suggests):
- Public speaking
- Psychology
- Business writing
- Accounting
- Designing
- Conversation
- Smile, ask questions (until you can find something both of you can relate to or have mutual interest in), avoid complaining and sad topics, and have some entertaining stories ready to go. How does one tell a compelling story?
- Set-up: Keep it brief and give quick context in 1-2 sentences on the background
- Establish a pattern: "Whenever I take my car, I follow the rules" (the listener now knows something might go wrong)
- Foreshadowing: Leave some clues about where the story is heading, like "I was going to give an exam in Bangalore, which is famous for its traffic."
- The characters: Give characters a name, their trait
- Relatability: Pick a story that people can relate to.
- The Twist: There has to be a plot twist.
- Overcoming shyness
- A simple trick for avoiding shyness involves harnessing the power of acting interested in other people. Some people are thing people, and some are people people. Also, remember every human is a mess on the inside.
- Second language
- Golf
- Proper Grammar
- Persuasion: Use of some words, phrases can have a dramatic effect on people. Here are some below:
- Use because: "May I borrow a hundred dollars because I won't be paid until next week?"
- "Would you mind" gives some sort of reasonable consideration to the other person
- "I have a rule" to stop unwanted persuasion
- "I just want to clarify" for something stupid or evil you hear from someone
- "Is there anything you can do for me?" You are a victim and puts the onus on the other person to solve the problem
- Three types of thank you: "Thank you," "Thank you for the ride," "Thank you for the ride. I wasn't sure how I would get back. You are a life saver."
- Sharing a secret - however small, can create a bond and a fast-track way to cause people to love and trust you.
- Decisiveness: If you can deliver an image of decisiveness
- Technology
- Proper voice technique
Chapter 22: Pattern Recognition (Other Simple Rules of Successful People)
Seven rules by Stephen Covey
- Be proactive
- Imagine a good outcome
- Set priorities
- Think win-win
- Seek first to understand, then be understood
- Use teamwork
- Keep learning
- Other rules:
- Lack of fear of embarrassment
- Education (the right kind)
- Exercise
Chapter 23: Happiness
The happiness formula:
- Eat right, sleep right, exercise
- Imagine an incredible future
- Work towards a flexible schedule
- Do things you can steadily improve at
- Help others (if you have already helped yourself)
- Reduce daily decisions to routine - this is key
- You can create a system - what time to wake up, time to eat (what to eat), exercise, time to work
Chapter 24: Diet
Some simple, no-willpower diet strategies:
- Pay attention to your energy levels after you eat. Find patterns
- Remove unhealthy food from the fridge
- Stock up on convenient healthy food
- Stop eating foods that create addiction: chips, fried food, dessert
- Get enough sleep, as tiredness can create the illusion of hunger
- If you are eating for social reasons, choose the healthiest option
- Learn how to season healthy but bland foods
Chapter 25: Fitness
Some more useful tips:
- Exercise at the same time
- Think about small victories; even if you only wore exercise clothes but didn't exercise, think of it as progress and feel good about it
- Find a reward system after you exercise
Conclusion
The underlying theme of the book is filled with anecdotes about failed enterprises, ideas from Scott Adams, and learning along the way. It also recounts how Scott Adams lost his voice and the story of how he was able to get it back - it is quite a story.
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